Tags

,

*     *     *     *     *

Some days I wake up Grumpy. Other days I let him sleep in!

*     *     *     *     *

dreamstimefree_42785

© Alexander Mikula | Dreamstime Stock Photos

I used to joke all the time about my grumpy old man. In fact, How Not to Murder Your Grumpy came about thanks in part to my beloved Grumpy. Nowadays, our house is filled with both of us complaining. I have turned into a very grumpy woman. What do I blame? Well, my hormones, of course.

The Menopause might well make you feel like a bad-tempered witch some days. You can either enjoy being a complete old grouch, or you can cheer yourself up in a number of ways, all of which can be discovered in Grumpy Old Menopause.

My usual antidote to grumpiness is either putting on cheerful music and having a little dance to it in the kitchen, or reading some funny jokes. Here are a few jokes to help you feel less grumpy:

*     *     *     *     *

Dear Santa, For 2014, I’d like a fat bank account and a slim body. And please don’t mix up the two like you did last year.

*     *     *     *     *

My plastic surgeon’s new letterhead:. “If life gives you lemons, a simple operation can give you melons.

*     *     *     *     *

I hate people who say ‘Age is just a number’ — Age is clearly a word.

*     *     *     *     *

Depresso: When you’ve run out of coffee.

*     *     *     *     *

A Haiku about getting out of bed:

No No No No No

No No No No No No No

No No No No No.

*     *     *     *     *

I always start my diet on the same day… tomorrow!

*     *     *     *     *

My doctor says he thinks I’m having a mid-life crisis. I was so surprised I nearly fell off my skateboard.

*     *     *     *     *

The cashier told me “Strip down, facing me.” How was I to know she meant my debit card?

*     *     *     *     *

Advertisements