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menopause5I recently discovered the lovely and very funny Heather Resnick who runs a support group in her hometown – the Menoclawsal Mavens – for women going through the menopause. Having gone through early menopause due to chemotherapy, she is aware of the “dastardly symptoms” and through fun and laughter helps advise other ladies. She has set up a similar support group for “hot chicks” on Facebook.

Join the Facebook Menopause with Claws page HERE

I’ll be writing more about her soon but today I wanted to share her poem with you. It comes with her kind permission.

 

Meno”claws” Pause Poem ©

By Heather Resnick Mar. 7, 2009
I am hot, hot, hot!
If I was talking about sex
I wouldn’t want it to stop!
But I am not.

<strong> </strong>
I have Menopause
You see
It’s dug its claws
Deep into me.

&nbsp;
For 24/7
I am in a sweat
No wonder I’m always
In a fret.

&nbsp;
I haven’t slept
In 14 long years
Causing puddles
Of frustrated tears!

Parched and sopping
Every night
I don’t know how
To get out of this plight.

&nbsp;
I need an intravenous
Water bubble,
So I don’t have to go through
All the trouble.

&nbsp;
Remember Get Smart’s
Shower Hat?
I could sure use
Something like that!

&nbsp;
Lotions and potions
And pills – I try.
Thank you Eve
For being so sly.

&nbsp;
I am tired, tired, tired.
So by noon
The next day
I am, totally wired!
Like a preschooler
I have a daily ‘nappy’.
But when I awake
I still feel crappy.

&nbsp;
I am a woman
Who is rather stout.
It baffles me though
With so much water pouring out.

&nbsp;
The fire department
Could use me a lot.
Just plug me in
And the fire would stop.

&nbsp;

With all my heat
As I lumber around
I am causing global warming
On the ground.

&nbsp;
You’d think that with
All these thermal powers
I could be used
To keep lights on for hours.

&nbsp;
Infra red planes
Looking for a grow-op
Would hover over my house
Thinking this was the spot!

&nbsp;
As if heat was all,
That I could bear.
Every morning
I sprout new hair.

&nbsp;
My well-groomed moustache
Is Black once more.
Sighing I pluck through
The blood and gore!

&nbsp;
Perhaps the most
Embarrassing of all
Is having no memory
I can recall.

&nbsp;
I had just left
a Grocery store
When I felt a lump
In the pants I wore.

&nbsp;

&nbsp;

I stuck in my hand.
It wasn’t a plum,
But a garlic head
Wow, did I feel dumb!

&nbsp;
It was obvious to me
I didn’t pay.
My dilemma was
Do I go or stay!

&nbsp;
It was luck
That store security
Had not come out
To follow me.

&nbsp;

My scruples won.
I went inside.
The cashier smiled.
I could’ve died.

&nbsp;
“I’m not a kleptomaniac.
I swear to you.
Just a menopausal woman
Whose gone “coo coo’ “.

&nbsp;
Still memory loss
Can be a good thing.
‘Cause same conversations
Are never boring.

&nbsp;
Funny as all this
May seem,
I have but just
One simple dream.

&nbsp;
To sleep through the night
Without sweat or pause,
And to be rid of this dastardly
Menoclaws!

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